B. took me for a ride out to an area they film in NM, a ranch. There is a big fellow guarding the gate but he lets us in to walk. He is a stunt man and actor and great energy with us. In the distance we hear a hawk and see the nest up a tree and walk away from the location. After a little walk the drive takes us down to Madrid for breakfast and wander a bit as fifty Harley Bikers drive through town, they are mostly police officers and all dressed up in their leathers and friendly. Nice group.
In one shop I am visited by a cat that jumps up and puts her head in my chest and gives me lots of love and I pet her. In another shop where they make art out of recycled material like old scrabble blocks as necklaces with tiny images and sayings on them, license plate book covers as I hunt for a present for a friend who is unique and it is her birthday. This robust dog boxer like comes up and leans all his weight against my leg and I bend and pet him and eventually he licks my face. The owner is Italian and the dog’s name is Naranjo(orange) and he is a rescue and supposedly mostly comes up to men not women and so I feel it is this animal sense that just offers what they do in an open hearted way to someone who probably could use some of that energy.
I know the waves of grief are what they are but I keep just seeing her full of life and free and encourage her to be on her path. I feel how I want to find her and how it is so hard to accept gone in this lifetime. I pray I meet her on the rainbow bridge and what what she has given me to put to good use and not fold into the pain so that gets lost. Live for love as someone said not die for it but it feels shaky.
The day is bright, we find a nice trail on the way home and walk for a while and see many dogs and owners and I realize how very beautiful and unique she is and was as a being.
This is a shrine with a painted rock I found at a garage sale, a flower that I put around her, and a photo that B. did of her looking through the rear view mirror on a trip that I put in the dash so she is with us on the road this morning. I know this would definitely be a bumper sticker she would choose for herself as well. God, I miss her.