I know this song is about migration and much more but it makes me think of Lupine and finding her through time. It is from Winged Migration one of my favorite films about the pure energy of nature and birds. Probably very hard to read but the chorus is : For I know one thing love comes on a wing for tonight I will be by  your side but tomorrow I will fly. I kept feeling each moment we were together was this flight we were taking next to one another for a bit longer and then the time was going to come for her to just fly off as the tumor took over more and more. I continue to see that last morning when she fell into this sleep of exhaustion then her waking and then this sudden poignant look and turning to her and seeing if she wants to go with me to the place where she and I could not go any further. It is like she wanted to just keep traveling until this whole dilemma would end. I know how much I wanted her to be free but not leave. What a tough thing that is, and how much it takes to assist her out of her body and to be left behind in that moment.

Her look was so very beautiful and open and her leaning against my leg that morning before she went up on the hill to make her nest and sleep was an otherness that I am not sure even is maternal. The whole time I felt in unison with her even when she thrashed in the car and the way just a small embrace let me settle her in my lap. There was this sensation of reaching through the dark to grab onto her as she slipped into that place of collapse, and then feeling her breathe, being very still and whispering to let go and simultaneously letting go in myself of wanting her to stay even for a second.



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