When Lupine and I moved here we did this together and pioneered our own place. As I drive through town I realize how much we started from scratch and moved every bit of our home into place
We found all our walks, all our places to shop, explore, get lost in and find our way home. I created a solid life for Lupine and she had place. They say that we are their place, and where ever we go they find place because we are there or with them. I find that true now for me each day that Lupi and I found place and without her it is like being rudderless. I continue to take her with me with a mat she had in the back seat and her jar of ashes that I leave in various spots along the way we loved to be.
I drive by an empty lot and feel how she and I walked through that spot and ran into the loose dog or else we made our little forays in various open spaces before going to the editing studio, and even there we walked behind the studio and she loved going down by the wash filled this fall with cottonwood leaves of bright yellow. There is not a spot in Santa Fe that is not about what we did. I feel how I know something about our life and so it is a way to connect with her.
Even at dinner last night with some new people a friend introduced us too I felt her at the table or waiting in the car for me. I was relieved to be back to the car with her with her mat and with her ashes like a hungry lover that wants to be with who they love.
She mirrors my whole life maybe because I was alone, had no family and really no friends here I would spend time with, and when I got to know other people, a few, it was with her and rarely did much where she could not be with me or not that far away to get back to her.
I want to go off on an adventure with her and I am so glad she was in my car so much so that when I do I feel her there. I guess I will be one of those people stuck in this time warp but it is okay because it feels present, it feels not my imagination but actual and palpable.
I love this photo of Lupine a friend Jenya from NDT took while she sat in the arena. She is all fluff and roll and attentive, present. I so value the manner of each animal not as a personality often giving you their identity but just presence and a quality that is Lupine-ness.